Inner Child Healing
Many of us might be feeling an increase in stress and anxiety.
Although there is a lot to celebrate, there is also a lot of negative energy surrounding this time for multiple reasons. Some of us are able to see family, and that may mean resurfacing family traumas and an onslaught of emotions may come sweeping in. While others are stuck alone with family in different states, which may bring on old feelings of abandonment. Now more than ever it’s important to understand these emotions and how they are related to your inner child.
From constantly healing our own inner child trauma, we’ve come to believe that we all can look inside ourselves and learn a lot about how we deal with emotions based on how we interpret things as a child.
Who we are today reflects our childlike aspects and personal memories, hopes, joys, desires, and needs stemming from childhood. Reflecting on your own life, have you ever wondered why you have not honored yourself in a relationship or made a self-sabotaging decision? It might be an old inner child wound or trauma that's resurfacing, crying out for a new level of healing.
After all, how our needs were met or not met as children can profoundly impact how we interact with others as adults. On top of that, how you felt (even if family members remember things differently) is valid and really molded how you deal with stressors today. For instance, if you have abandonment issues from childhood, you might sometimes choose personal and professional relationships where there's a good chance the other person doesn't give you the support you need or has issues with commitment.
Or you might project this fear of abandonment onto people who really deserve a chance to be in your life. Sometimes, even the things we don't like, we keep recreating simply because they are familiar.
The first step is to identify what you wish you'd had, or had more of, as a child. You might look back and wish you'd had more unconditional love, protection, sense of belonging, security, acceptance, encouragement, acknowledgment, or anything else.
Once you acknowledge these areas that make you feel triggered from childhood you can work to begin healing your emotions and wounds.
Identifying childhood wounds does not have to involve blaming or shaming your parents or guardians. What’s most helpful is reminding yourself that they did their best at the time. Growing up we see the adults in our life as the representation and model of wisdom. We take most of what they say as the truth. Our subconscious imprints their way of thinking and world views and we begin to model their behavior.
It’s only when we're older that we realize most adults are not perfect beings and we challenge the decisions they made in raising us. Just know that they made choices based on their own childhood wounds and that they too feel pain as we do.
Holidays can be a more triggering time than other parts of the year because of the increased interaction and communication with family. It’s important we be kind to ourselves and support our inner child.
It’s helpful to think “what can I do for myself now, in this moment that I wish someone, whether a parent or loved one, could have done for me then.”
Here are two helpful practices to hopefully give you tools for healing your inner child;
Ho'oponopono means 'to make things right'. This Hawaiian prayer is a practice of forgiveness. Used as a powerful mantra, it can help you mentally set a clean slate in your relationships. The understanding of Ho'oponopono is that everything that is your reality is something perceived by your mind.
The prayer is “I am sorry, Please forgive me, I thank you and I love you”
We oftentimes will repeat these words as a mantra, with the intention of letting go on a personal level and giving ourselves forgiveness, or directing the prayer towards someone or something out of our control to allow space to forgive and understand them.
Next time you are feeling stress or tension about a situation, try placing your attention towards it and repeating “I am sorry, Please forgive me, I thank you and I love you” until you feel your stress begin to melt.
ROSE & FIRE PRACTICE
By Lacey PhillipsPROCESS | It’s best to practice this one when you are alone so that you can go deeper. Close your eyes and focus on your breath. Quiet your thoughts. Once you’ve sunk into to the moment, visually picture your heart in the shape of a closed pink rose. With each breath, feel the soft pinkness and warmth of this rose. Then watch it gently and gracefully open. (This is a great way to also open and expand your heart).
Now that it’s open, I want you to dig around and let a memory come back to you from childhood. A time when you were shamed, or not good enough, or abandoned. See that smaller version of you. I want you to pick up and console that smaller version of you and give the love that, that smaller version of you is in need of (this might vary for each individually). Once you do, I want you two to take a look at the situation. Is there something that smaller version of you needs to say to someone? What would have needed to happen to change the situation in order for the smaller version of you to feel confident, seen, loved, and comforted? Now take anything or anyone involved in that situation and throw them/it into a fire (in order to regenerate a new outcome).
Say any last things you need to say or do with this smaller version of you. Then gently come to your breath again. Wiggle you toes and hands. And come out of the meditation when you are ready.
Know that you are loved, and if you need extra support reach out, book an energy session, and know that there is always someone who can support you. If talking to someone you know seems scary, we highly recommend seeking out a therapist to help you sort out your thoughts.
We are sending you light, support, and strength.